ok..well, its now monday morning, but geof is gone now...

screw this thing..i dont have time for it anymore..bye

me and geoffs last night together was last night...he leaves sunday the 26th, right after 5.

i want to die

he and i will be together

2 years isnt that long....right?

i got up this morning at 7:30, and called geoff to make sure he was awake and ready to go for church  on time. he had a talk today, so he wasnt able to be late as usual. marc came and picked me up, and he and i went to his ward, so i could be there for geoffs last talk before he leaves for his mission. it was on the sabbath day. it was a great talk. hes so smart, and talks really well out loud to bunches of people. he would do great with a career like that. anywayz.. out of nowhere, geoffs dad told him he could come back to my  ward with me to be in nursery with me. i was really happy about that. so my dad came and got me, since he was already on his way, and geoff followed along.

when i got there, sister childs thought i had died cuz it was pushin two weeks that i hadnt been in nursery with her. nursery was normal..loud, fun, crazy...then we went home at 12. i found out lauren and sister aerns are comin over on tuesday to see me again..cool beans..cant wait for that. i love lauren. shes cooooool........

my mom wanted to see all of us today, so she came and got the little kids, and geoff and i drove out to the caralon park and we had a picnic and had lots of fun we bought icecream bars and stuff at the little store they have there in the park. after that, at about 3:30, geoff had to go do something for his dad, so he and i had to leave. so my mom just left too, and she took the little kids to a zoo for the rest of the day, and me and geoff went to take care of his stuff. after we were done with that, we came back to my house and hung out. i found ut that he will be getting set apart (becomin an actual missionary and havin to follow the rules) on friday afternoon, instead of after his party on sunday..like it is supposed to be. TWO DAYS EARLY!!!so now that thats happeneing, i cant see him till sunday afternoon for about 10 minutes, when hes driving out of his driveway. i cant kis him, or hug him, or tell him i love him..for two whole days before he leaves..what am i going to do????????

i started cryin today out of nowhere, and he held my face, and told me its not over, and just cuz he leaves doesnt mean were over. hes going to come back for me, and hes going to marry me

its not over

i believe him

im going to bed now..maybe i can sleep tonight

ok..so its been a couple days since ive written. i cant even rememeber everything ive done lately..anywayz..we'll see..GEOFF LEAVES NEXT SUNDAY! A WEEK AWAY! IM SO SCARED!!!

now for something completely different..

the past few days, ive gone to work, came home, and hung out with geoff.. last night, him, and me, and josh all went to chevys and ate our little hearts out..it was amazing food and soooo expensive, then pam met us there. we sat there till almost 11 and talked and snacked on chips and salsa, and did nothing. then geoff and i went back to my house, and josh and pam went home, too. nothing too special..

movies watvhed this week: dickie roberts: childhood star, family guy series on dvd, once in the life, and dragonheart..GAYEST MOVIE EVER, BY THE WAY!..muwahaha!!

so i got up at 10:30 this morning, did some housework, and then marc came and got me. i went to clean his moms house for her and helped him rearrange his room and stuff. she payed me 35 bucks to do that. i did a lot there today though. after that, marc and i went to wendys and ate lots of food. on the way out of the parking lot, we saw this guy get rear ended and knocked about 75 feet from where he was stopped. all the ppl in his car jerked forward and were all holdin their necks..that lady who hit them is gona have a lawsuit on her hands !haha..loser drivers.

i went to kmart, and bought some jeans, some hair stuff,  some teeth whitener. i love this stuff. so yeah..you squeeze the tube of whitener in the molds for your mouth, and hold it in your mouth for 20 minutes, take it out for ten, do it again for 20minutes, out for ten and once more, and youre done for a while cuz youll be shades whiter! i love this stuff..it really works too!

after that, i went to work at 6, and worked my frigg butt off, trained another girl tonight. wow im on a roll to supervisor..i love this job! then geoff came and picked me up, and he ran me to taco bell cuz i hadnt eaten since 3 something, then we came back to my house, watched a fmaily guy episode, and hung out till he had to goe ohme.

i have to get up at 7 in the morning for church. i must flee my children. goodnight ya'll

i love geoff

GEOFF LEAVES TOO SOON..THIS IS, BY FAR, GOING TO BE THE WORST TWO WEEKS OF MY LIFE.

so..i didnt have to work today. i got up at 7, and woke geoff up, and he came over to play basketball. we got a ball and bought a pump for it, and saw that the bball court is bein repaved, and it was roped off, and we couldnt play on it. instead, we took back our movies, and rented dragonheart, and johnny english. johnny english was pretty funny. so anywayz..it was almost time for geoff to go to work, and he goes come to work with me..and i said sorry i cant i have fhe tonight i have to be home by 6:45..he says to me, well i have a meeting tonight anyway..im leaving work at 6 so you cna come with. so i jumped up and got ready for work with geoff..i love goin with him. i know i just get to sit and do nothing and whatever..talk to all of his computer friends and stuff..im not allowed to touch anything..lol..even though it all really needs a cleaning up..

so at about 3:30, me and geoff, his friend lewis went out to eb games, and quiznos for lunch. quiznos is by far one of the best places to eat at..mmhmm...we went back to his work, and i fell asleep till about ten after 6, and we packed up and left. i came home, and did the dishes, and had fhe; i watched the rm with my family, and then had cookies and stuff..then i took a shower. right afterwards, geoff called and said he wanted to come over, but called to make sure i wanted to see him, first..i was on my stairs and while i was on the phone with him, i heard a knock on the door..IT WAS HIM! i love it when he surprises me like that. hes great.

so he and i hung out for a bit, watched the rest of a movie together, and then....

i have never cried more in my entire life before tonight...

geoff leaves on the 26th of september for his mission..his mom isnt lettin ppl go to the airport with him to see him off..she wants us to wave goodbye at his front door as he drives off..thats the first big "i hate sis miller"...second of all, she wants to send geoff off toutah a couple days early, so he can spend time with his dumb brother and sister in law..he doesnt want to go early..duh!. i just found out tonight that on top of him already leaving a couple days early, that he is being set apart on saturday during the day sometime..maybe even friday, cuz the one person that can do it for the elders, is gin out of town and has to do it before he leaves..this means no huggin, touching, kissing..whatever you want to call it..for three days before he leaves..wtf????HES MY BOYFRIEND! how am i supposed to not show him how i feel? on top of all of this, we cant say i love you when he leaves his house on the 26th, cuz everyone will be there watching and saying goodbye..the one person i love more than anything in this world, cant hear how i feel before he leaves for two years.

i cant handle this..

i want to die

i want to take a hot, sharp,dagger, and shove it through my heart..deep

i feel like im dying..all i can do it keep myself busy and wait for him to come back for me..

somebody kill me..on the 27th of september, 2004